Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Not the same

Every once in a while, I get really bummed about my body, especially after having my baby. Realistically, though, I've always struggled with my weight. I diet, I exercise, nothing...unless I go to the extremes of starving myself, which I did as a teenager, or working out in basically all my free time, which I did before my wedding.

My mom jokingly calls it the "fat gene," which is quite true. There are larger women on both sides of my family, and when I started pre-puberty at around age 9 is when I chunked out. I have even recently tried diet and heavy exercise. When I stepped on the scale a few weeks ago, I saw a five pound change. I GAINED five pounds.

As I was attempting to find something to wear for my sister-in-law's birthday tonight, I was lamenting my mama-body. By breasts, butt, and especially my stomach hang down. I changed my clothes at least four times, trying to look thinner. I saw a photo from my wedding, and was a bit jealous of the me in that picture. Well-rested, vibrant hair, and thirty-five pounds lighter. I just wanted to look like that girl again.

Then that little voice in the back of my head spoke up. "Of course you don't look the same. You're NOT the same." 

There it was. The light went off. I am not the same as I was two and a half years ago. I'm not even the same person. As I put on the first outfit I had tried, I smiled. I traded a few things, for sure, but I got the beautiful little boy I have, and I would do it again. I'm not the same; I'm better.


  1. You can be the same person and grow as well, that's what life's about! Now you have a bitty baby boy and your priorities have changed! I think you look beautiful and motherhood suits you. Also, if you want especially shiny hair, try eating foods like salmon and avocados. Use coconut oil (the refined kind so it won't taste like anything) for cooking in, like sauteing vaggies. Those good fats are healthy for you and will bring out some nice shine in your hair and nails.

    Great post, MamaB!

  2. OH HOLY CRAP!!!! I meant vEggies! OMG I'm so sorry!